Randy Komisar on Leadership and Management

BY Kermit Pattison

  

In the life of a company, every dog has its day. So says Randy Komisar, a veteran Silicon Valley venture capitalist and entrepreneur who has spent the last 25 years launching technology startups. Komisar is a partner at Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers where he specializes in working with technology entrepreneurs. "I'm not attracted to them because of the bottom line," he says. "I'm attracted to them to them because of the top line--they change they can make." His own pedigree: co-founder of Claris Corporation, CEO of LucasArts Entertainment, CEO of Crystal Dynamics, founding director of TiVo, senior counsel at Apple Computer, author of two books, and "virtual CEO" to an array of fledgling companies. In this Q&A, he warns of the classic mistakes of manager-wannabe-leaders, the perils of too many bullets and not enough Zen, and why CEOs are like dogs. 

 Kermit Pattison: What are the classic pitfalls you see entrepreneurs making over and over again? 

Randy Komisar: Mistaking the difference between leadership and management. A lot of people believe the two are the same and believe that, because they have been effective or excellent managers, that they're capable of leading. While the two ideally come together, the qualities and attributes of a leader and a manager are not exactly the same.

In your mind, what's the difference between management and leadership? 

Management is more operationally focused. It's more of a supervisory role of setting priorities, allocating resources, and directing the execution. Leadership is more forward thinking, more about enabling the organization, empowering individuals, developing the right people, thinking strategically about opportunities, and driving alignment. Mind you, the line is not black and white. But it's a classic mistake that because someone is a good manager that they'll necessarily be a good leader. 

In early stage projects, the CEO oftentimes is effectively a project manager. I've seen some of those people over-think leadership--literally start to compound the challenges by thinking too big and not immediate enough. 

They start to think, "Oh, I've got to be a leader, I've got to start reading books and learning theory?"

Exactly--I need a vision statement, I need to define my culture in five bullet points. When I started running companies 20-something years ago, I learned that the first thing to do was to define my culture, which meant sitting down and writing up a cute little vision statement. What I realized, after being involved with enough companies, is that these vision statements all look alike, the words are gobbledygook and they're not very meaningful. 

Now what I usually say is, "We're going to come up with a culture statement a year after we formed." Put it on the calendar. Why after a year? Because then we can actually see what out culture is--what we don't like about it and what we do like about it. 

How much of leadership is natural versus a discipline that can be learned?

The first thing to realize is how many different styles of leadership can be successful. There isn't one style of leadership that is innately more successful than others. There are certain skills sets, which are learnable, that are very important. You need to be able to communicate. If you can't communicate well, you won't be able to inspire, motivate and attract the resources necessary for success. 

Prioritization is a really important skill. You've got to know what's more important than the other thing. It's amazing how many really smart people can't prioritize. Only a minority of people can effectively prioritize and focus. 

And you need to have effective interpersonal skills. That doesn't mean you need to be social and it doesn't mean you need to be outgoing. But it means that when you sit down in your office with somebody who's relying on you for leadership, you've got to be able to emphatically communicate with them around their challenges, figure out how to help them be more successful and resolve their conflicts so they can do their job better than they thought they could.

You say companies need different breeds of leaders at different stages. How are CEOs like dogs?

I call the first CEO the retriever--the leader who has to go out and assemble the resources. They have to go out and find the people, the money and the partners. That person is really great sales person--they have sell the vision every day. They're asking people to believe in something that doesn't exist and take a substantial leap of faith. 

The next is the bloodhound CEO. You got to find out where that value proposition is going to find paydirt so you can actually build a business around it. You've got something now, but how do you optimize it? You've got to sleuth that out. 

The husky is the next one. Now you've got a product, a value proposition, and you've figured out your business model. Now you've got to pull this sled as it gets heavier with people, products and customers up a hill, which is essentially the hill of building a big successful business. 

The one dog you never really want pulling your company is the St. Bernard. 

The rescue dog.

Right. Because at that point you know you've got big trouble. 

Even a great leader, if the wrong breed at the wrong time, can be a mismatch?

Absolutely. There are different talents in the creation of businesses and running of businesses that need to be taken into consideration. A mistake often made in the venture investment business is rushing to bring in a big CEO into what is still a small venture. The mismatch of skills is severe. The big CEO needs resources, needs a strong sense of direction and momentum, and is not very effective day-to-day with a bunch of people putting bits and bytes together. The other mismatch that's harder to foresee is the small company with momentum. You say, great, let's bring in the guy who can grow it to $100 million and take it public. The problem is that you may face yet another significant right or left hand turn in your business which that CEO may be completely unqualified to do. 

I liken it to a story a friend of mine told me many years ago about driving through the Sahara. For three nights the road through the sand was dead straight to the south. On the third night, there was a right hand turn. At the base of that turn, it's full of crashed trucks. I think about that CEO the same way. If you're not an agile, venture CEO you are very likely to end up crashing at that turn. 

What episode earlier in your career were formative experiences on leadership?

At Go Corporation I worked for Bill Campbell, who has absolutely been formative to me. Bill showed me, first and foremost, that business was worth doing. At that point, I was a lawyer and I certainly had no inclination to go into business. To me, business was about buying low and selling high--a fun game, but not an interesting life. Bill taught me the high art and that what was interesting are the people you work with, the people you sell to, the constituents and stakeholders you bring together, the art of being able to manage them all together to succeed, and to create potential beyond the obvious. I just found that mesmerizing--that's why I do what I do today. 

If you look at the ranks of CEOs today, who strikes strike you as being particularly thoughtful about leadership?

When I read interviews with CEOs lately around leadership, I've got to tell you, the stuff that gets published seems awfully conventional. I'm not seeing any brilliant insights about leadership lately from the leaders who get a following out there. 

I've given up on the guru model and think more in the Zen model: things will change and that's okay. What we need is a set of constant provocations. What I like to read are those things that really challenge my assumptions, authors who are willing to think differently, no matter whether I agree with them or not, because they at least broaden my own thinking. What I don't like reading is the pablum--the 10 habits of great leaders or whatever. Those are constraining and not very effective for the average person. 

Speaking of bad advice, what's the worst advice about leadership you ever heard?

One of the most important lessons I learned is that people are not fungible. I've had bosses who said, "We're not going to pay well, incent, or develop our people because there's always somebody to take their place." The problem with that logic is, while it might be statistically true, it fundamentally indicates a culture that is not going to invest in anybody. Nobody is going to become very effective. 

The other piece of leadership that somebody tried to teach me, which I dismissed, is manage by the numbers--if you manage by the numbers everything else takes care of itself. Just get people to execute, measure, hold people accountable, and that's enough. That's not enough. Yes, it is important to instill accountability in organization, it's important to have good metrics, to discipline the process, reward people, and withdraw those rewards when they're not being effective. But that won't get you greatness. 

So what does get you greatness?

When I am most successful, it's because the people around me have made me successful. It comes down to the fact that success is created by a group of people and not by any single individual. How do you get people to come together around a goal and objective and be great? It's establishing a sense of common purpose. Greatness doesn't come from a tactical sense of execution. Greatness comes having a vision that goes beyond yourself and even beyond the organization.

Source: Fastcompany.com Click here for page url

Creative people are just high functioning schizophrenics

New research shows a possible explanation for the link between mental health and creativity. By studying receptors in the brain, researchers at Karolinska Institute have managed to show that the dopamine system in healthy, highly creative people is similar in some respects to that seen in people with schizophrenia.

High creative skills have been shown to be somewhat more common in people who have mental illness in the family. Creativity is also linked to a slightly higher risk of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. Certain psychological traits, such as the ability to make unusual or bizarre associations are also shared by schizophrenics and healthy, highly creative people. And now the correlation between creativity and mental health has scientific backing.

"We have studied the brain and the dopamine D2 receptors, and have shown that the dopamine system of healthy, highly creative people is similar to that found in people with schizophrenia," says associate professor Fredrik Ullen from Karolinska Institutet's Department of Women's and Children's Health, co-author of the study that appears in the journal PLoS ONE.

Just which brain mechanisms are responsible for this correlation is still something of a mystery, but Dr Ullen conjectures that the function of systems in the brain that use dopamine is significant; for example, studies have shown that dopamine receptor genes are linked to ability for divergent thought. Dr Ullen's study measured the creativity of healthy individuals using divergent psychological tests, in which the task was to find many different solutions to a problem.

"The study shows that highly creative people who did well on the divergent tests had a lower density of D2 receptors in the thalamus than less creative people," says Dr Ullen. "Schizophrenics are also known to have low D2 density in this part of the brain, suggesting a cause of the link between mental illness and creativity."

The thalamus serves as a kind of relay centre, filtering information before it reaches areas of the cortex, which is responsible, amongst other things, for cognition and reasoning.

"Fewer D2 receptors in the thalamus probably means a lower degree of signal filtering, and thus a higher flow of information from the thalamus," says Dr Ullen, and explains that this could a possible mechanism behind the ability of healthy highly creative people to see numerous uncommon connections in a problem-solving situation and the bizarre associations found in the mentally ill.

"Thinking outside the box might be facilitated by having a somewhat less intact box," says Dr Ullen about his new findings.

Source: Dosenation.com click here

Never panic

In a shop, a man asked for 1/2 kg of butter. The salesperson(a young boy) said," Only 1kg packs were available in the shop."

But the man insisted on buying only 1/2 kg. So the boy went inside to the manager's room and said ,"An idiot outside wants to buy only 1/2 kg of butter". To his surprise, the customer was standing behind him. and so the boy added immediately, "And this gentleman wants to buy the other half!!!!!!".

After the customer left, the manager said to  the young boy, "You have saved your position by being clever enough at the right time. Where do you come from?" To this the boy said, "I come from Mexico . The place consists of only prostitutes and football players!!!!!"

The manager replied coldly, "My wife is also from Mexico." To this the boy asked excitedly, "Oh yeah? Which team does she play for?"

Moral: Presence of mind helps. Never panic!!!!!!!!

Interview Etiquette Manners-Meals and Interviews

Interviews are often stressful - even for job seekers who have interviewed many times. Interviewing can be even more stressful when you are expected to eat and talk at the same time. One of the reasons employers take job candidates out to lunch or dinner is to evaluate their social skills and to see if they can handle themselves gracefully under pressure. 

Dining with a prospective employee allows employers to review your communication and interpersonal skills, as well as your table manners, in a more relaxed (for them) environment. Table manners do matter. Good manners may give you the edge over another candidate, so, take some time to brush up your dining etiquette skills. 

Interview Dining Tips:

• Are you really nervous? Check out the restaurant ahead of time. That way you'll know exactly what's on the menu, what you might want to order and where the rest rooms are located.
• Be polite. Remember to say "please" and "thank you" to your server as well as to your host.
• Is the table full of utensils? My British grandmother taught me an easy way to remember what to use when. Start at the outside and work your way in. Your salad fork will be on the far left, your entree fork will be next to it. Your dessert spoon and fork will be above your plate.
• Liquids are on the right, solids on the left. For example, your water glass will be on the right and your bread plate will be on the left.
• Put your napkin on your lap once everyone is seated.
• Remember what your mother spent years telling you - keep your elbows off the table, sit up straight, and don't talk with your mouth full!

During the Meal:

• Don't order messy food - pasta with lots of sauce, chicken with bones, ribs, big sandwiches, and whole lobsters are all dangerous.
• Don't order the most expensive entree on the menu.
• Do order food that is easy to cut into bite-size pieces.
• The polite way to eat soup is to spoon it away from you. There's less chance of spilling in your lap that way too!
• Break your dinner roll into small pieces and eat it a piece at a time.
• If you need to leave the table, put your napkin on the seat or the arm of your chair.
• When you've finished eating, move your knife and fork to the "four o'clock" position so the server knows you're done.
• Remember to try and relax, listen, and participate in the conversation.

To Drink or Not to Drink:

• It's wise not to drink alcohol during an interview. Interviewing is tough enough without adding alcohol to the mix.

After the Meal:

• Put your napkin on the table next to your plate. 
• Let the prospective employer pick up the tab. The person who invited you will expect to pay both the bill and the tip.
• Remember to say "thank you." Consider also following-up with a thank you note which reiterates your interest in the job.

Source: About.com

What lies on the other side of death

A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die.Tell me what lies on the other side". Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know". Sick man said, "You don't know? You, a Christian man, Do not know what is on the other side?" 

The doctor was holding the handle of the door.On the other side came a sound of scratching and whining. And as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room, leaped on him with an eager show of gladness. Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear I know little of what is on the other side of death, But I do know one thing................ I know my Master is there and that is enough."

Play to achieve your Goal

There once lived a great mathematician in a village outside Ujjain . He was often called by the local king to advice on matters related to the economy. His reputation had spread as far as Taxila in the North and Kanchi in the South. So it hurt him very much when the village headman told him, "You may be a great mathematician who advises the king on economic matters but your son does not know the value of gold or silver."

The mathematician called his son and asked, "What is more valuable - gold or silver?" "Gold," said the son. "That is correct. Why is it then that the village headman makes fun of you, claims you do not know the value of gold or silver? He teases me every day. He mocks me before other village elders as a father who neglects his son. This hurts me. I feel everyone in the village is laughing behind my back because you do not know what is more valuable, gold or silver. Explain this to me, son."

So the son of the mathematician told his father the reason why the village headman carried this impression. "Every day on my way to school, the village headman calls me to his house. There, in front of all village elders, he holds out a silver coin in one hand and a gold coin in other. He asks me to pick up the more valuable coin. I pick the silver coin. He laughs, the elders jeer, everyone makes fun of me. And then I go to school. This happens every day. That is why they tell you I do not know the value of gold or silver."

The father was confused. His son knew the value of gold and silver, and yet when asked to choose between a gold coin and silver coin always picked the silver coin. "Why don't you pick up the gold coin?" he asked. In response, the son took the father to his room and showed him a box. In the box were at least a hundred silver coins. Turning to his father, the mathematician' s son said, "The day I pick up the gold coin the game will stop. They will stop having fun and I will stop making money."

The bottom line is :

Sometimes in life, we have to play the fool because our seniors and our peers, and sometimes even our juniors like it. That does not mean we lose in the game of life. It just means allowing others to win in one arena of the game, while we win in the other arena of the game. We have to choose which arena matters to us and which arenas do not.

We live in a Nation where...

We live in a Nation...

Where Pizza reaches home faster than Ambulance, police and firetruck.

Where you get car loan @ 5% and education loan @ 12%

Where rice is Rs 40/- per kg but sim card is free

Where a millionaire can buy a cricket team but don't donate any money to charity

Where the foot wears and inner wears, we wear, are sold in AC showrooms, but vegetables and fruits, that we eat, are sold at footpath

Where everybody wants to be famous but nobody wants to follow the path to be famous

Where we make lemon juices with artificial flavors and dish wash liquids with real lemon

Where people standing at tea stall reading an article about child labour from a newspaper and say, "yaar bachhon se kaam karvane wale ko to phansi par chadha dena chahiye" and then they shout "Oye chhotu 2 chaii laa..."

Do think about it!

13 Ways to Cheer Up

If you’re like most people, you experience moments of feeling down, depressed, or blue. First of all, it’s okay to feel that way. We all do sometimes. Some of us may feel down more often than others, and that’s okay too. If you’re experiences are preventing you from functioning in your home, work, or social life, you may need some extra help. If this is the case, please contact a mental health professional in your area.

If you’re just having a bad day (or week) and need to cheer up, try some of the following. I hope you feel better soon!

1. Make your own CHEER UP book. If you’re experiencing lots of days of feeling down, you might benefit from creating your own “Cheer Up” book. Create a list (like this one) of every activity you can think of that will cheer you up. Type it up, add some pictures, print it out, and have it bound. I created a book like this for my husband, and it has worked out very well. Whenever he’s feeling, he just grabs his book and within a few activities, he’s feeling much better about life.

2. Breathe. Deep breathing is a relaxation technique that releases tension from the body and clears the mind. You tend to breathe shallowly or even hold your breath when you are feeling anxious. Many people do this and are not even aware of it. Shallow breathing limits your oxygen intake and adds further stress to your body, creating a vicious cycle. Breathing exercises can break this cycle.

What to Do:

1. Sit up straight. First exhale completely through your mouth. Place your hands on your stomach, just above your waist. Breathe in slowly through your now, pushing your hands out with your stomach. This ensures that you are breathing deeply. Imagine that you are filling your body with air from the bottom up.

2. Hold your breath to a count of two to five, or whatever you can handle. It is easier to hold your breath if you continue to hold out your stomach. Slowly and steadily breathe out through your mouth, feeling your hands move back in as you slowly contract your stomach, until most of the air is out. Exhalation is a little longer than inhalation.

3. Water. Drink some water. Mmmmm…water. Dehydration can cause a variety of problems, including imbalances in your noggin. So fill up a glass with that clear liquid and take it down. While you’re at it, why don’t you take a multivitamin just for good measure? Don’t stop at that one glass. Be sure to have a few through the rest of the day.

4. Hugs. If a friend or loved one is available, go snag a hug from them. You have to give a hug to get one. Sometimes all we need is a good old fashion hug. A study by University of North Carolina researchers found that hugs increase the “bonding” hormone oxytocin and decrease the risk of heart disease. Touch also releases two feel-good brain chemicals, serotonin and dopamine.

5. Play with a dog. If you don’t have one, go get one! When I say play, I mean really play. Get down on the ground, chase her around, throw her “ball” and have a good old time. You’ll be spreading some love, exercising, and making both you and her feel better.

6. Caffeine. Go get a soda or coffee (iced or hot). Caffeine is a natural mood enhancer. J Not only does it taste good in coffee and soda and make you feel better – it also helps to get out of the house to get some fresh air. For a couple dollars, this is a cheap and pleasurable pick-me-up.

7. Call a friend. Open up that cell phone, and start going down the contact list. If you’re not willing to call them (unless it’s a professional contact), then maybe you should delete them. Family members and friends should be available to support one another. A good old-fashion chat will add a new perspective on life in general, and it might provide some pleasant distraction from whatever is getting you down.

8. Watch a funny movie. If you have the time, slip in one of your favorite comedies or go rent one. And when you get to the funny parts, give yourself permission to laugh and laugh hard. Laughter is very good for you, especially when you don’t think you can.

9. Go for a walk. You know yourself best. Do you feel good around green trees, water, or lots of people? Go for a walk near something that rejuvenates you. Yes, even if you have to drive there. Commit to just 15 minutes, and you’ll be surprised how much you’ll want to keep going after your 15 minutes are up. The fresh air, rejuvenating surroundings, and exercise are all things that are sure to cheer you up.

10. Bath Time. Draw yourself a bath – with candles, music, bubbles, and duckies. Time to spoil yourself! You can soak, relax, and have a little fun while you’re at it. Who says bubble baths are only for kids and ladies??

11. Cheap fun. Go to the dollar store and buy 5 fun items. You have such a variety of options! Decorations, cards, games, stickers, ribbons, bags, books, food, glasses, toys, coloring books, and SO MUCH MORE!! If you can’t spare $5, allow yourself to spare $2 or $3. And pick something fun!

12. Music. Do you enjoy music? Slip in your favorite tunes, turn the volume up, and sing your heart out. Feel the music surround you, and just let the good stuff soak in. Bathe yourself in the songs that makes you feel good.

13. Dance. Along the lines of music – put on some of your favorite up-beat tunes, close the blinds, and dance. If you’re home alone, dance around the whole house. If you think this is stupid, set the timer for 5 minutes. Commit to only 5 minutes, and see how you feel afterwards. If you don’t feel better, stop. If it works, you don’t have to tell anybody.

Source: happylists.wordpress.com (click to visit the page)

INCREDIBLE INDIA.

India/ Mumbai/ Dharavi- Asia's largest slum with concrete huts, sometimes two-three floors, standing cheek-by-jowl

It is home to more than a million people.Houses generally have no door numbers.
Everyday,there are at least 4,000 ordinary letters to be delivered, a hundred registered ones, 150 speedposts, at least four parcels and about 15 money orders. There are some company annual reports as well to be delivered. Rather than numbers, it is the locals and shopkeepers who help postmen to locate the addressee.
No wonder, each postman, covering about 25 km every day, takes about two years to be a pro.

It is also home to several thriving small-scale industries such as embroidered garments, leather goods, pottery and plastic. According to reports, Dharavi's products sell domestically and abroad. It's annual business turnover is estimated at more than $650m.

Bibliography: Article on 'Times of India->How postmen sort Dharavi maze

The loser's guide to getting lucky

Why do some people get all the luck while others never get the breaks they deserve? A psychologist says he has discovered the answer.

Ten years ago, I set out to examine luck.

I wanted to know why some people are always in the right place at the right time, while others consistently experience ill fortune.

I placed advertisements in national newspapers asking for people who felt consistently lucky or unlucky to contact me.

Hundreds of extraordinary men and women volunteered for my research and, over the years, I have interviewed them, monitored their lives and had them take part in experiments.

The results reveal that although these people have almost no insight into the causes of their luck, their thoughts and behaviour are responsible for much of their good and bad fortune.

Take the case of seemingly chance opportunities. Lucky people consistently encounter such opportunities, whereas unlucky people do not.

I carried out a simple experiment to discover whether this was due to differences in their ability to spot such opportunities.

I gave both lucky and unlucky people a newspaper, and asked them to look through it and tell me how many photographs were inside.


I had secretly placed a large message halfway through the newspaper saying: "Tell the experimenter you have seen this and win £250."

This message took up half of the page and was written in type that was more than two inches high.

Anxiety

It was staring everyone straight in the face, but the unlucky people tended to miss it and the lucky people tended to spot it.


Unlucky people are generally more tense than lucky people, and this anxiety disrupts their ability to notice the unexpected.

As a result, they miss opportunities because they are too focused on looking for something else.

They go to parties intent on finding their perfect partner and so miss opportunities to make good friends.

They look through newspapers determined to find certain types of job advertisements and miss other types of jobs.

Self-fulfilling prophecies

Lucky people are more relaxed and open, and therefore see what is there rather than just what they are looking for.

My research eventually revealed that lucky people generate good fortune via four principles.

They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities, make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition, create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.

Towards the end of the work, I wondered whether these principles could be used to create good luck.

I asked a group of volunteers to spend a month carrying out exercises designed to help them think and behave like a lucky person.

Dramatic results

These exercises helped them spot chance opportunities, listen to their intuition, expect to be lucky, and be more resilient to bad luck.

One month later, the volunteers returned and described what had happened. The results were dramatic: 80% of people were now happier, more satisfied with their lives and, perhaps most important of all, luckier.

The lucky people had become even luckier and the unlucky had become lucky.

Finally, I had found the elusive "luck factor" .

Here are Professor Wiseman's four top tips for becoming lucky:

• Listen to your gut instincts - they are normally right
  
• Be open to new experiences and breaking your normal routine
  
• Spend a few moments each day remembering things that went well
  
• Visualise yourself being lucky before an important meeting or telephone call. Luck is very often a self-fulfilling prophecy

Quotes in the article-:

Those who have succeeded at anything and don't mention luck are kidding themselves Larry King

Everything in life is luck -Donald Trump

Luck is believing you're lucky Tennessee Williams

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it
Thomas Jefferson

By Professor Richard Wiseman
University of Hertfordshire
source url: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/3335275.stm

My Deaf Wife !

My Deaf Wife!! (Thought for the day)
A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here’s what you do, said the Doctor, “Stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.”

Then in a normal tone he asks, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?”

No response!

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Still no response…

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Again he gets no response…

So he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Again there is no response…

So he walks right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

“John, for the FIFTH time I’ve said, CHICKEN!!!”


MORAL OF THE STORY: The problem may not be with the other person as we always think, could be very much within us!

Family Budget-recommendation by Prerana Salaska

Basic Financial Planning

Since Mr Suman is the only earning member with two dependents, including a one-yearold infant, we feel that he needs to scale up his cover so that he is capable of meeting at least 15 years expenses. That means a sum assured of at least Rs 25 lakh more. This could cost Rs 6,500 p.a. He would also need to be covered for health insurance, which would entail a yearly premium of Rs 6,000.
His savings bank balance and time deposit should serve as a cushion for any emergency needs, should they arise. His current investments are skewed towards debt investments returning fixed returns. His current asset allocation is almost 80% in debt, which needs to be changed to 70% equity for his age, goals and long-term planning. He could look at directing his investment in ELSS and bank deposits maturing in the coming months towards equities to better returns.

Goal-Oriented Planning

Since for the purchase of the car, down payments and instalments will be wholly-financed by salary arrears and future incremental income, the impact on current financial flows could be considered irrelevant till the time of completion of EMI payments. However, one needs to consider that a car entails additional expenditure such as fuel costs, maintenance, servicing costs and insurance, which could amount to around 30-50 % of EMI costs. Keeping his various goals in mind, he could consider looking at a cheaper car range, which could take care of the ancillary expenses. Alternatively, he could defer purchasing the car till a further improvement in income, if he thinks buying a house is more important.

Purchasing a House

A house worth Rs 35 lakh will involve a down payment of nearly Rs 7 lakh and an EMI of Rs 20,000, for a 20-year tenure. Assuming that he opts to not buy the car and considering the current surpluses, he would still be short of EMI payments by approximately Rs 5,000, three years hence. We suggest that this decision could be deferred for another five years or until there is a marked improvement in salary. We have assumed that he presently stays with his parents and there will be no saving on rent by buying his own house.

Child Education Planning

Assuming that he would need a corpus of Rs 25 lakh for his kid in his 18th year, he should create an inflation-adjusted corpus of Rs 67.31 lakh in 17 years. Various investments in MFs would materialise to Rs 11.55 lakh, 17 years hence or in the childs 18th year. Considering his current cash flows, he could take an education loan then.

Retirement Planning

Maintaining his current lifestyle means Rs 2.40 lakh p.a, which translates into Rs 13 lakh p.a in his 60th year, after 29 years. Assuming a life span of 90 years, he needs to plan for the next 30 years at 13 lakh p.a (Rs 1,08,000 p.m), adjusting for inflation. This means a retirement corpus of close to Rs 2.26 crore when he is 60. His current investments would yield a corpus of around Rs 1.79 crore, which means that currently there is a deficit of Rs 48 lakh. Surplus after the recommended Rs 3,500 SIP in ELSS, is around Rs 3,500 p.m. Out of this, Rs 3,000 can be invested in balanced fund SIPs to yield Rs 48 lakh in 29 years at 8% p.a return.

Rationalising between goals

His current shortfall in retirement corpus needs to be revisited yearly and the plan tweaked accordingly. If he feels that buying a house or providing for his childs education constitute more pressing issues than planning for a comfortable retirement, he could utilise a portion of retirement allocation towards these needs, as required. Shortfall in retirement corpus, if any, could be met through means such as reverse mortgage in future.


By Prerana Salaskar-Apte , a certified financial planner, is a partner with The Tipping Point
source: Economic times dated 12th Jan.'10
Web url: Click here

Five mistakes managers make most often

Some management mistakes are so common that you can actually compile them into a list. If you’re a manager struggling to find out why your team is dysfunctional, take a look at the behaviors in this list and see if any look familiar.

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Some management mistakes are so common that you can actually compile them into a list. If you’re a manager struggling to find out why your team is dysfunctional, take a look at the behaviors in this list and see if any look familiar.

1. Not communicating with the team. I know, I know, you’ve seen the advice for communicating so often you want to smack someone. I want to smack myself for saying it so often. But you know what? Unless you’re on the front line heading into a military battle, you have to take time to communicate with your team members. You don’t have to pass on every shred of information you’ve gotten from upper management on a new initiative, but you have to give them enough information to know why they’re being asked to do what they’re being asked to do. The more information your team members have, the more ownership they’ll feel in the process, and the better they’ll perform.
2. Continually focusing on the negative. Thinking in negative terms is a common result from working in a reactive environment, which IT tends to be. In that environment, IT spends most of its time keeping the negative to a minimum with goals such as decreasing network downtime or putting out fires. A good leader has to make an effort to recognize the positive. (How about mentioning increased uptime?) Recognize your people for the forward progress they make and not just for their efforts to keep things from getting worse.
3. Changing policy due to one person. The term “team” makes some managers think they have to treat everyone the same way. This is true in many cases, but if one person has a performance issue, don’t take across-the-board measures to correct it just because you’re afraid of confronting that one team member. If one team member is failing to complete some duties in a timely manner, don’t introduce a policy forcing the whole team to submit weekly progress reports. Deal only with the one with the issues.
4. Not understanding the needs and concerns of your team. Some IT leaders find it virtually impossible to tell their bosses that something can’t be done. The team’s bandwidth or overall state of mind takes a backseat to real or imagined glory of being the guy who “gets things done.” Good managers don’t over-promise on their team’s behalf.
5. Never admitting you’re wrong or never taking responsibility. There’s risk involved in being a manager of a team. And that risk is, if your team fails at something, you should and will be the one held accountable. It doesn’t matter if one team member screwed something up; your job was to manage the overall process of all the team members, and you didn’t do it. So suck it up and own up to that. On a related note, if one of your actions caused a kink in a project, admit it. It’s ironic but not owning up to a problem damages your credibility with your team more than simply saying, “I was wrong.”


Author: Toni Bowers, Toni Bowers is the Head Blogs Editor of TechRepublic. She has been in the publishing industry for 20 years, with concentration in IT-related topics. She has edited newsletters, books, and web sites pertaining to software, IT career, and IT management issues.

Url:http://blogs.techrepublic.com.com/career/?p=796
website: http://www.techrepublic.com

The Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle, When 24 Hours in a day is not enough, Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly, He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
And proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students, if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full.They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided,'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

• The golf balls are the important things - family, children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions –Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.
• The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.
• The sand is everything else --The small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued, there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So... Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play With your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. 'Take care of the golf balls first --The things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked'. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before but had once failed an entire class. That class had insisted that socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.

The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on socialism. All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A.


After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little. The second test average was a D! No one was happy. When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.

The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.

All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great but when government takes the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.

Could not be any simpler than that.

What a profound short little paragraph that says it all

"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for,that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."

~~~~ Dr. Adrian Rogers, 1931

Questions of real national security

"Questions of real national security"-Pushpa M. Bhargava

Policies with regard to agriculture, education and health need to change in order to ensure a meaningful and wide-ranging security for this country.

The arms business is probably the second largest business in the world after the food business. It is, therefore, not surprising that we consider national security to be just what the defence and allied services provide the country.

But there could not be a greater illusion than that. With all the weapons in the world, we must not consider ourselves secure unless we have agriculture security (which is synonymous with food security, farmers security and rural sector security), education security, and health security. If India were secure on these fronts, there would have been no so-called left-wing extremism affecting a quarter of the districts: in many areas the governments writ does not seem to run now.

We waived farmers loans, but did we take steps to empower them so that they do not need to take any more loans? What we did was for political gain. For what we did not do, the explanation is that we pay only lip service to farmers security.

Agriculture security concerns seeds, agro-chemicals, water, power and soil. It involves the marriage of traditional and modern agricultural practices; the de facto empowerment of panchayats and women; the marketing of agro-products at fair prices. Such security requires the provision of sources of augmentation of income to agriculturists and village-dwellers through the development of traditional arts and crafts, medicinal plants, and the unparalleled repertoire of fruits and vegetables. Also involved here are organic farming; the use of post-harvest technologies; orchid tissue culture (for example, Arunachal Pradesh has 650 varieties of orchids which, if exploited, can bring the State an income of Rs.10,000 crore a year), mushroom culture, and the appropriate use of fisheries and marine wealth. Other elements include intelligent energy use; the empowerment of the rural sector with knowledge; microcredit; the integration of rural and urban sectors; appropriate research such !

as on organic farming, bio-pesticides, and the development of varieties with all the advantages of hybrids, that would benefit India: research that is being encouraged under the Indo-U.S. Knowledge Initiative on Agriculture would be of greater use to the U.S. The integration of the National Rural Employment Guarantee Scheme with carefully thought-out developmental plans; prevention and management of disasters such as floods and famine and the cleaning up of land records are also not to be forgotten. Then come a system to prevent, detect and take care of bio-terrorism against agriculture. Emerging new and exotic diseases of plants and animals need to be tackled by setting up centres of plant and animal disease control. Climate change has to be addressed, bearing in mind the fact that a one-degree rise of temperature can bring down the production of wheat by 5 million tonnes. None of the above constituents of agriculture security has been adequately taken care of.

If a power from outside India wishes to control this country's destiny today, it is not going to drop a nuclear bomb: it only has to control Indian agriculture. And to do that, it needs to control just seed and agro-chemicals production. The Indian government is not cognizant of this: otherwise, more than 30 per cent of the country's seed business today would not have been under the control of multinational seed companies. Indeed, a moratorium on genetically modified (GM) crops would have been declared until preparations were made to test them adequately.

As regards education, the most important division in the country today is between those (numbering less than 10 per cent) who have access to good education and those (adding up to more than 90 per cent) who have only education without any value. The former are the rulers and the latter are the ruled.

With the extensive commercialisation of both school and higher (including professional) education leading to a university degree, education has become a commodity to be sold and purchased. India is perhaps the only country in which this has happened so extensively, with the buyer getting the minimum that the seller can get away with. So a private school has no hesitation in charging Rs.10,000 as laboratory fees for a Class I student, and there is often no correlation between what is charged and for what amount the receipt is given. You could sometimes get your required registration and university affiliation for an engineering, medical, pharmacy or nursing college that you are setting up by buying off the inspection team and officers of the accreditation authority. It is no surprise, therefore, that 80 per cent of the engineering graduates (in fact, graduates in all areas) India produces are unemployable.

Till the 1960s, there was no commercialisation of education, and government-run or trust-run schools were uniformly good. The children of the rich and the poor went to the same school, and the rich and the powerful had a stake in government schools. Now only the poor send their children to government schools; they might as well not do that too for, at times the school may exist only in name or the designated teacher may not come for weeks on end. Or, if he is a little more considerate, he may send a surrogate replacement for 20 per cent of his salary which he would compensate for by engaging in a more lucrative business activity during school hours.

The Right to Education Bill that has just been passed by the Rajya Sabha and the Lok Sabha, if it is notified by the government, will only be a boon for those who make money in the school business, while it will be a disaster for those who have no access to education today. Unfortunately, that is what the rich and the ruling classes want. For education is the most important weapon of empowerment, and the best defence against exploitation.

To be truly independent as a nation, and to maintain national dignity, India needs a knowledge society in which every citizen has a minimum amount of knowledge. The country can do that only by decommercialising and decommodifying education and setting up a common school system (for which there has been a continuous demand since the days of the Kothari Commission in the early-1960s) in which the students of the rich and the poor in the same neighbourhood would be studying in the same school without paying any fees, and with a new curricular framework. That is the only way for us to ensure education security.

As regards health security, the lack of a sense of ethics in the medical profession (with some exceptions granted), and corruption in the Central Government Health Service, in the corporate health sector, and in the Medical Council of India, are matters of common knowledge. Inflated bills, pay-offs, unnecessary medical tests and a lack of general physicians are all well-known and well-documented phenomena. In Bhopal on September 24, 2008, a gas tragedy victim was denied medical assistance in the Bhopal Memorial Hospital which was permitted to be set up by Union Carbide expressly for the gas tragedy victims; he died the next day while waiting in the hospital. But who cares?
Our rural health-care scheme covers just a few diseases. Contrast our health-care efforts with that of Chinas recently announced well-thought-of programme of spending $124 billion to modernise its national health-care system in the next three years.
We seem to really care only about the requirements of countries such as the U.S., the multinational companies, and the top 15-20 per cent of our rich and the powerful. According to an article in The Lancet (May 16, 2009), a small country like Ghana lost $60 million since 1951 which it spent on training health workers who have migrated to the U.S., the U.K. and Canada. The U.K. alone saved 103 million in training costs by importing Ghanians. It is unclear what the corresponding figures are for India and the U.S., but there is no doubt that the U.S. will be the winner.

Ironically, the Indian government can do everything required to ensure agriculture, education and health security. The Green Revolution was based on our own varieties and not seed companies hybrids. Some of the best schools in the country even today are the Central Schools, or Kendriya Vidyalayas. And many of the best institutes of higher learning in every sector are government institutions. Some of our best hospitals, such as the All India Institute of Medical Sciences in Delhi, the Post Graduate Institute of Medical Education and Research in Chandigarh, and the Christian Medical College Hospital in Vellore, are run by the government or a trust without a profit motive.
If the present Indian policies with regard to agriculture, education and health security continue to be pursued, there could well be a civil war in the next 10 to 15 years.

(Dr. P.M. Bhargava is former vice-chairman, National Knowledge Commission.)

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Why China may attack India by 2012

China will launch an attack on India before 2012.

There are multiple reasons for a desperate Beijing to teach India the final lesson, thereby ensuring Chinese supremacy in Asia in this century. The recession that shut the Chinese exports shop is creating an unprecedented internal social unrest. In turn, the vice-like grip of the Communists' over the society stands severely threatened.

Unemployment is on the increase. The unofficial estimate stands at whopping 14 percent. Worldwide recession has put 30 million people out of jobs. Economic slowdown is depleting the foreign exchange reserves. Foreign investors are slowly shifting out. To create domestic market, the massive dole of loans to individuals is turning out to be a nightmare. There appears to be a flight of capital in billions of dollars in the shape of diamond and gold bought in Hong Kong and shipped out in end 2008.

Internal unrest is making China jittery

The fear of losing control over the Chinese masses is forcing the Communists to compulsorily install filtering software on new computers to crush dissent on the Internet, even though it is impossible to censor in entirety the flow of information as witnessed recently in Tibet, Xinjiang and Iran.

The growing internal unrest is making Beijing jittery.

The external picture appears to be equally dismal. The unfolding Barack Obama strategy seems to be scoring goals for democracy and freedom without firing a single shot. While Geoge Bush unwittingly united and arrayed against himself Islamic countries and radical Islam worldwide, Obama has put radical Islam in disarray by lowering the intra societal temperature vis- -vis America and the Muslim world. He deftly hints at democracy in his talk without directly threatening any group or country and the youth picks it up from there as in Iran. With more and more Chinese citizens beginning to demand political freedom, the future of the communists is also becoming uncertain. The technological means available in 21st century to spread democracy is definitely not conducive for the totalitarian regime in Beijing.


India's democracy is an eyesore for China

India's chaotic but successful democracy is an eyesore for the authoritarian regime in Beijing. Unlike India, China is handicapped as it lacks the soft power- an essential ingredient to spread influence. This further adds fuel to the fire.

In addition, the growing irrelevance of Pakistan, their right hand that operates against India on their behest, is increasing the Chinese nervousness. Obama's Af-Pak policy is primarily a policy that has intelligently set the thief to catch the thief. The stated withdrawal from Iraq by Americans now allows them to concentrate its military surplus on the single front to successfully execute the mission. This surplus, in combination with other democratic forces, can enable the Americans to look deep in to resource rich Central Asia, besides containing China's expansionist ambitions.

Why India is an ideal target for the Chinese

To offset this adverse scenario, while overtly pretending to side with the West, the Chinese covertly ordered their other proxy, North Korea, to test underground nuclear explosion and carry out trials of missiles that threaten Japan and South Korea.

The Chinese anxiety is understandable. Under Bush's declared policy of being 'a strategic competitor' alongside the 'axis of evil', they shared a large strategic maneuverability with others of similar hues. However, Obama policies wisely deny such a luxury by reclaiming more and more international strategic space ceded by the previous administration.

The Communists in China, therefore, need a military victory to unite the disillusioned citizenry behind them. This will assist to market a psychological perception that the 21st century belongs to China and to commemorate their deep belief in the superiority of the Chinese race. To divert attention from the brewing internal dissent is essential to retain the Communist Party's hold on power. In an autocratic system normally the only fodder to unite the citizenry is by raising their nationalistic feelings.

The easy method for Beijing to heighten the feeling of patriotism and thus national unity is to design a war with an adversary. They believe that this will help them to midwife the Chinese century too. That is the end game rooted in the firm belief of the Communists that Chinese race is far superior to Nazi Germany and is destined to 'Lord over the Earth'.

At present, there is no overall cost benefit ratio in integrating Taiwan by force with the mainland since under the new dispensation in Taipei, the island is 'behaving' itself. Also, the American presence around the region is too strong for comfort. There is also the factor of Japan to take into account. Though Beijing is increasing its naval presence in South China Sea to coerce into submission those opposing its claim on the Sprately Islands, at this point of time in history it will be unwise for the recession-hit China to move against the Western interests, including Japan.

Therefore, the most attractive option is to attack a soft target like India and forcibly occupy its territory in the Northeast.

China is worried by India's alliance with the US

Ideally, the Chinese believe that the east-wind should prevail over the west-wind. However, despite their imperial calculations of the past, they lag behind the West, particularly America by many decades.

Hence, they want the east-wind to at least prevail over the other east-wind, i.e., India, to ensure their dominance over Asia. Beijing's cleverly raising the hackles on its fabricated dispute in Arunachal Pradesh to an alarming level is the preparatory groundwork for imposing such a conflict on India. A sinking Pakistan will team up with China to teach India 'the final lesson'.

The Chinese leadership wants to rally its population behind the Communist rule. As it is, Beijing is already rattled, with its proxy Pakistan, now literally embroiled in a civil war, losing its sheen against India. Above all, it is worried over the growing alliance of India with the United States and the West, because the alliance has the potential to create a technologically superior counterpoise.

Is India prepared for the Chinese threat?

All these three concerns of Chinese Communists are best addressed by waging a war against pacifist India to achieve multiple strategic objectives. But India, otherwise the biggest challenge to the supremacy of China in Asia, is least prepared on ground to face the Chinese threat.

How will India face and respond vigorously to repulse the Chinese game plan? Will Indian leadership be able to take the heat of war? Have they laid the groundwork adequately to defend India? Is Indian military equipped to face the two-front wars by Beijing and Islamabad? Is the Indian civil administration geared to meet the internal security challenges that the external actors will sponsor simultaneously through their doctrine of unrestricted warfare?

The answers are an unequivocal 'no'. Pacifist India is not ready by a long shot either on the internal or the external front.

It is said that long time back, a king with an excellent military machine at his disposal could not stomach the violence involved in winning wars. So he renounced war in victory. This led to the rise of the pacifist philosophies. The state either refused to defend itself or neglected the instruments that could defend it.

Any 'extreme' is dangerous, as it tends to create imbalance in statecraft. We saw that in the unjust unilateral aggression in Iraq. It diminished the American aura and recessed the economy. China's despotic regime is another extreme, scared to permit political dissent. This will fuel an explosion worse than the Tiananmen Square. Despite use of disproportionate force and demographic invasion of Tibet, Beijing's hold remains tenuous. Pakistan's over-aggressive agenda in the name of jihad haunts it now to the point of fragmentation of the state.

How we must face the threat

Similarly, India's pacifism is the other extreme. More 26/11-like attacks will occur on a regular basis as it infects policymaking. Such extreme postures on either side invariably generate wars. Armed with an aggressive Wahabi philosophy, Pakistan, in cohort with China, wants to destabilise a pacifist India. India's instruments of state steeped in pacifism are unable to rise to its defence.

In the past 60 years, instead of offering good governance, the deep-rooted pacifism contributed to the civil administration ceding control of 40 per cent of the Union's territory to the Maoists and ten percent to the insurgents, effecting a shrinking influence internally, as well in the 'near abroad'.

India must rapidly shift out from its defeatist posture of pacifism to deter China. New Delhi's stance should modify, not to aggression, but to a firm assertion in statecraft. The state must also exclusively retain the capability of intervention by use of force internally as well as externally. If it permits the non-state actors to develop this capability in competition, then the state will whither away. On the contrary, the state machinery should ensure a fast-paced development in the Red Corridor even it if has to hold Maoists' hostage at gunpoint. The state's firm and just intervention will dissolve the Maoist movement.

Keeping in view the imminent threat posed by China, the quickest way to swing out of pacifism to state of assertion is by injecting military thinking in the civil administration to build the sinews. That will enormously increase the deliverables on ground -- from Lalgarh to Tawang.

Columnist: Bharat Verma, Editor, Indian Defence Review.
Source: rediff.com
Page url: click here

Morals

First-year students at Texas A & M's Vet school were attending their first Anatomy class, with a dead pig.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a White sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, 'In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a Doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the Animal body'. For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, touched his finger in the mouth of the dead pig, withdrew it and put his Finger in his mouth. 'Go ahead and do the same thing,' he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually took turns putting their finger in the mouth of the dead pig and tasted in their mouth.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said,'The Second most important quality is observation. I touched with my middle Finger and tasted on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention'...

Moral of the story:Life is tough, but it's a lot tougher when you're Stupid....

Source: forwarded emails

Chinese Fables-The Pretty Lady

Once upon a time a big monk and a little monk were travelling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. They had to wade across the river. There was a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn't cross the river. The big monk offered to carry the pretty lady across the river on his back. The lady accepted. The little monk was shocked by the move of the big monk. "How can big disciple brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females," thought the little monk. But he kept quiet.
The big monk carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily. When they crossed the river, the big monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her. All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about the big monk in his head. This got him madder and madder.
But he still kept quiet. And the big monk had no inclination to explain his situation.

Finally, at rest-point many hours later, the little monk could not stand it any further, he burst out angrily at the big monk. "How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty. All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite." The big monk looked surprised and said, "I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?"
[This very old Chinese zen story reflects the thinking of many people today. We encounter many unpleasant things in our life, they irritate us and they make us angry. Sometimes, they cause us a lot of hurt, sometimes they cause us to be bitter or jealous. But like the little monk, we are not willing to let them go away. We keep on carrying the baggage of the "pretty lady" with us. We let them keep on coming back to hurt us, make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony. Why? Simply because we are not willing to put down or let go of the baggage of the "pretty lady". We should let go of the pretty lady immediately after crossing the river, immediately after the unpleasant event is over. This will immediately remove all our agonies. There is no need to be further hurt by the unpleasant event after it is over. It is just that simple.

Chinese Fables-The Turtles

A turtle family decided to go on a picnic. Turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outing. Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place for their outing. During the second year of their journey they found a place ideal for them at last! For about six months they cleaned up the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements. Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned.
The family consented and the little turtle left. Three years passed and the little turtle had not returned. Five years ... six years... then on the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and begun to unwrap a sandwich. At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, "SEE! I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt."
[Some of us waste our time waiting for people to live up to our expectations. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we don't do anything ourselves.]